Life_Expore

At some point you have to love yourself than any body else She told me this, was wondering how one can love self when you know action will hurt people you live for. May be it is possible for people to reach a level where they have realised the meaning of absolute selfishness is key to Happiness. But I think I need to think for some time. As of now I have convinced every one to change the date of 26th June. I think I should not do things in a hurry, life time decision should not be taken with Baggage.

How come it is not possible for me to start life afresh when it is so convenient for others. I think it is to do with the value system one is imbibed with.

Trip to Rajshahi was revealing, realised how funfilled simplicity can be some times. But the way it ended was shocking. Thank god for your grace.

Getting a Hang over the B'desh Market. Hope fully will be able to get the things under control in a months time. I am sure I will be able to add value here. results will be favourable as expected out of me. Learning for the week : Remember in IB it is only the locals who will resides here expirates can only help generating Ideas, systems has to be developed by local resources taking them into the confidence.

Meanwhile on 8th June silhouette of venus is crossing sun, eclipse experienced after 1882, and I will be getting into the relationship. God give me courage to meet the expectation of family and do Justice to "B". I can't even think abt her now, it is criminal.

Going on the week end for the Salhet trip, hopefully will be able to enjoy the Mango mangrooves.

Acknowledgement is a sort of acceptance,Sign of greatness is to believe what you do and move ahead in life with conviction. Some one posted some funny remarks on my site in the guest book. Strange if one has the strength he could have actually come and faced me. But than I think any one neither her nor her friends have this courage, for that one needs to have clarity of thoughts and pure heart. Well who ever he is, god give him solace to have better aims and purpose in life, buddy just take time to read some of my posts on the blog hope fully you will understand the meaning of love……

Human mind is amazing and god has strange way of testing it. Few days back life was moving on with lots of activity and I was ok with what ever it has in store for me as long as my efforts were in right direction. A turbulence came in and every evening there after had loads of emotions. But spending time with own self always help, and almighty helps with the direction. Saw “Beautiful Mind” on HBO it was experience more engrossing to see the movie all alone with a scenic sea view from the room. What John Nash said “ he discovered all the equations all the algorithms in the mystery of love” what if his wife would have not understood him, imagine spending the life proving ones credential every day. Instead of winning noble prize he would have ended his life mental asylum. It is far more important to relate to each other in love. I don’t think it make sense to run away from life by lowering the expectation from self and life. Mediocrity creeps in when one start believing in good, because than you don’t even think of achieving of great. Life would be of no worth if it is spent in activities which you don’t fundamentally believe in. Also it is the potter’s hand that shapes the pot and not the clay. Thus instead of trying to reinvent the wheel, I should listen to Maa. I think now I relate to sense of closure what she was mentioning. More over I feel a certain level of connect with “B”, her reaction was so pure when from Airport I called and said honesty and innocence is her strength. I dread to undergo any pain which I have experienced in last 2 years and this time it would be with out the support of parents if I don’t listen to them.

Oops too much of introspection. Learning from this weekend, get your fundamentals right and all the other things will fall in place. It is working with the Job and yesterday at “City of London” seeing those teenagers smoking and partying made me realize what wrong upbringing and fundamentals can do to a person.

Genius are never perfect they always have the desire to grow and improve. Aim to become a genius and not the perfect person. Great learning from Ramki, meeting him is always an amazing experience.

Life is really a sinusodal curve, day before I was emotionally distressed wondering where my life is heading, Am I running away from something, and that is why focusing all my eneregies towards my work. Here comes the ray of hope, the direction a slight glimpse of my kismatic destiny. I realised why I am running and I think I know where i am heading to....Had a meeting with Prof. Rahul altekar, he wanted my help for the Course of CRM in Wellingkers and Nitie. What else.... I will be writing a white paper with him. Too early to get excited, but than remember what learned people say... reward your self for the baby steps towards the grand goal and journey will be fun. But it is sad as there is no one to relate to my small happiness, people who love me don't understand the significance of this, and who understand have nothing to do with me and neither it matters to me.

Mr. Dheeraj you deserve a treat.

It was the most emotional night in last 6 months, I am proud of my self that I could control myself. I lived up to my expectation of love and my definition of love. Love is not to die for some one but to live for some one and you need not to possess her to love her. Might sound idiotic but there she was in front of me, knowing she was and is my life, i just allowed her to walk away from me, without even having the satisfaction of saying her what her absence or presence means for me. I wished that night would have continued for ever, but couldn't even feel the delicate touch of her hand on my palms when she shook hands. I was completely numb wondering if ever for a moment she realised how much I loved her,and if not why I couldn't explain her. I think deep down my firm belief that love can not be explained but it has to be felt, over powered my desire to provide a logical explaination. Any how I have been doing that since I met her. So I didn't want to degrade that noble feeling of love by explaining things in any form what so ever.
She thought it is closure of a relationship, for me it appeared to be a closure of some part of me. I am sure it will take lot of time when I can believe in love, in honesty and trust any relationship. I wanted to ask her what was my fault, why you penalised me for others behaviour towards me. But than if she would have had the capability to understand it, the world for me would have been completely different. She was the only one whom I looked as god's personal gift to me but than god has this incredible sense of humour and I had no choice but to get amused on god's SOH . Every moment I lived with her lived for her. I gave what ever I could in my control to her. Unfortunately my upbringing and values I lived for was not in my control to be given. My value system was completely different to what she believes, and thus there was no common ground where we could have lived together. I am not sure whether I can ever treat people to do "Eeina Meena Mow" like my sweetu believed, but I definetly agree life is always about choices, you gain some you loose some.

I remembered what Prof Deshi told me, There is a whole world inside each one of us. How many times we look into ourselves before being Judgemental towards others. How difficult it becomes for any one of us to think beyond us. I have realised that Empathy is the biggest thing one can learn to achieve what ever one wants in life. may she get all the goodness what she deserves.

As for me, I am fundamentaly fortunate, I have to now live for the ones I exist, my parents, my career, and ofcourse my inspiration who is she and no one can take that away from me......

It is difficult to keep to the pace of activities happening in life.
Meeting with Prof Deshi , Trip to Ludhiana with Dr. P and his guidance has helped me to gain loads of confidence in my new role. I am sure I will be able to keep my promises to me self.
Srilanka trip weekend on Le-Kandya in Kandy, and drive to Gall, Flight with the Gautam Punj, my interaction with a billionare.... oof the back log of jotting down my experiences is increasing...

Any ways next week in Bangladesh I have nothing much to do except recruiting the new team so I will write at leisure.... I have lived to one more promise to my self, I have bought a new flat in Hiranandani gardens, 2 BHK on 12th floor with Lake view...... I am now owner of 3 houses....